Tag Archives: Difference

Maya Angelou & Martin Luther King anniversaries. What can they teach us?

Today marks a significant confluence of anniversaries. It is 90 years since Maya Angelou was born and it is also 50 years since Martin Luther King was assassinated. Two dates, two greats. Both worked for human rights, dignity and respect. Indeed, they worked together in the 1960s when Angelou worked as a coordinator for MLK’s Southern Christian Leadership Conference.

Maya Angelou

Maya Angelou - You may kill me with your hatefulness, but still, like air, I'll rise. Maya Angelou became a poet and writer after a childhood rape, teenage pregnancy, and sexuality doubts, indeed her range of occupations is rather enigmatic and curious: “Angelou drives cable cars, cooks, pimps, does exotic dancing, turns tricks, and sleeps in abandoned cars, all the while poring over serious literature.” – New Republic

She was a touring cast member of the opera Porgy and Bess and through hooking up with a South African freedom fighter moved to African becoming an editor-journalist in Egypt and Ghana during the early 1960s, the years of decolonisation. 

She had a life of adventure and yet seemingly overcame adversity at every turn by luck, love, and self-belief. Nonetheless, she seems to have spent a lot of time in her life and her writing still searching and exploring herself.

“When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.”

Her words, worn of experience and yet polished to be poetry, if not a little preachy, remain timeless, and she is one of the most oft-quoted people on motivational memes.

“There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside of you”.

Maya Angelou, I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings, 1969
Maya Angelou, I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings, 1969

She lived with many loves, had many lives, and published no less than seven autobiographies. The most famous, remains, her first autobiography, I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings, was published in 1969.

“The caged bird sings with a fearful trill
Of things unknown but longed for still
And his tune is heard on the distant hill
For the caged bird sings of freedom”

In 1972, she penned the first screenplay written by a black woman.

Receiving dozens of honorary degrees in her lifetime and a full-time professorship, despite no college degree, she was someone who succeeded irrespective of background and didn’t see “can’t” as a word in her extensive vocabulary.

“We must confess that we are the possible.”

From her time in the 1960s with MLK and Malcolm X to 2008 when she witnessed the inauguration of the first Black President in Barack Obama, though she backed Clinton, equality made limping progress. Angelou uttered then, that:

“We are growing up beyond the idiocies of racism and sexism.”

Growing up, but not yet full-grown or mature. We have a way to go.

“If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude.”

Martin Luther King

Martin Luther King was ever the optimist, preaching love over hate, peace over war, forgiveness over resentment.

“I refuse to accept the view that mankind is so tragically bound to the starless midnight of racism and war that the bright daybreak of peace and brotherhood can never become a reality… I believe that unarmed truth and unconditional love will have the final word.”

It was a belief that may have cost him his life, and not a little opposition from other members of the civil rights movement. After President John F. Kennedy was assassinated in 1963, King said to his wife, Coretta:

“This is what is going to happen to me also. I keep telling you, this is a sick society.”

Five years later, he did indeed suffer the same fate. Fifty years ago today. 

“Human progress is neither automatic nor inevitable… Every step toward the goal of justice requires sacrifice, suffering, and struggle; the tireless exertions and passionate concern of dedicated individuals…Change does not roll in on the wheels of inevitability, but comes through continuous struggle.”

United in their attitude to hate

Martin Luther King and Maya Angelou, alike, defied their haters. Their responses of love, resilience, and determination, remain inspiring after their deaths. 

“You may kill me with your hatefulness,
But still, like air, I’ll rise.” – Maya Angelou

Maya spoke about being a blessing, of being a rainbow in somebody else’s cloud. MLK’s words I take as inspiration every time I speak about our response to hate, violence or bigotry:

“Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.” – Martin Luther King

There’s still much to fight for

We don’t live in a post-civil rights era, we are still fighting for equality, still needing to celebrate diversity and be welcoming and not merely tolerant of difference.

We still need twenty-first-century visionary leaders, pacifist in intent, passionate in expression, powerful in action, and political in achievement.

To the Martin Luther Kings and Maya Angelous being born today we celebrate you. To those being cut down in their prime (two teens yesterday in London), we commemorate you.

Whether you live to 39 (MLK) or 86 (Maya), make a difference, and be memorable by removing the word “can’t” from your vocabulary and choosing not to be limited by your education, sex, colour, age, or any other social categorisation. You are the difference, you are the change.

Beautiful Queer Non-Binary Beardy Pride vs Fetishing, Hate or Body-Shaming

Hirsute Self-Love rather than Self-Loathing or Other-Lust

If you are different, queer, ‘other’, a bearded lady, or something else, the only two choices are not – be persecuted or be fetishised, be hated or loved for a mere body part/characteristic, be single and lonely or stuck in a settled-for second-best relationship.

“Don’t be grateful [for second-best] … Because someone out there will “actually” love you for who you are.”

Little Beardy Bear Schwarz via Twitter
Little Beardy Bear Schwarz via Twitter

That quote is from a great post by Little “Beardy” Bear Schwarz, a queer non-binary woman who just happens to have a beard.

Yes, that is possible. Various medical conditions (e.g., PCOS), and/or intersex variations, can mean that a woman’s hormones produce the extra secondary sexual characteristic of facial hair that can rival or beat that of some men’s attempts to grow a lumbersexual beard. Most would shave continually, indeed Schwarz did for 17 years. A rare few like Little Bear or Balpreet Kaur embrace the difference and are part of humanity’s out-and-proud diversity.

“I don’t need to perpetuate an idea that having being female-bodied and bearded is WRONG, as it is not.  I am beautiful as I am.” – Little Bear Schwarz

Standing Out from the Crowd

But difference marks one out for mostly unwanted attention – abuse, curiosity, investigation, fetishisation, exclusion, or intervention and normalisation.

If you are different, othered by birth, choice, or accident, in some way, going unnoticed is not an option, there is no radar to fly under, you are under constant view and scrutiny.

“How do I assert that no one who chooses to live out loud is “asking for it?” Catcalling, entitlement, and body shaming exist among all people and to all genders. However, there is an expectation among people like me whose appearance is deemed “othered.”” – Lil Bear Schwarz

Fetish, Kink and Body Shaming

Little Beardy Bear Schwarz via Twitter, Fetish, Bearded Lady, Kink
Little Beardy Bear Schwarz via Twitter

Schwarz says with bucket-loads of self-respect that:

“If all you can do is reduce me down to one small aspect so you can add me to your fetish collection, it is YOUR LOSS, because you are missing out on all the other things that make me beautiful.”

At the same time as Schwarz not wanting to be body-shamed, nor do they kink-shame, as they clarify on Twitter:

On Labels and Definition

Whilst labels can be limiting, they can also be liberating. These are just some of the other words that Little Bear uses to describe, but not necessarily to define, themselves by:

“Bearded Lady, sideshow performer with Wreckless Freeks, opera/showtune singer & fan, writer, editor, spoken word artist, poly/pan, NB, SJW, and casual chef.”

GenderQueer and Gender-full

Another word they use is “GenderQueer” or the fabulous “genderful” to describe their male-female blend, fluidity and, when performing, their focus on a part of the gender spectrum.

“Being both genderqueer and being billed as a “bearded lady” presents no conflict to me because it is not as much inaccurate as it is just incomplete.  My gender identity is what I call “genderful” – a blend of masculine & female elements and everything in between.

Little Beardy Bear Schwarz via Twitter
Little Beardy Bear Schwarz via Twitter

See the full, pulling no punches, personal blog post by Lil Bear Schwarz on Ravishly, whose tagline is “There’s no wrong way to be a woman”. If you want to follow Little Bear more, having read their post and for all the right reasons, then they are on Twitter @LilBeardyBear and Facebook.

Loving yourself for who you are and how you look become even more vital to self worth and survival if you stand out in a crowd, in a non-stereotypically beautiful way. It is, in the end, the only route to self-confidence and happiness, and the best way to guarantee that anyone you choose to be with is with you for you, because you don’t need their affirmation, it is just the icing on the cake of self-love and self-respect. Genderqueer beard, beautiful person, and all.